I bought what I thought was a cool motorcycle once. It was the most uncomfortable bike I have ever owned. The thing was a wretched torture rack. What I learned from that experience was that there is more to choosing a motorbike than the cool factor and thinking with my head or even my butt is better than my heart alone.
I recently saw a headline in a motorcycle magazine that read "The Coolest Motorcycles in the World." I had a bit of a chuckle thinking I have seen that story before, but what about the world's most uncool motorbikes? Of course that article would step on to many toes or at least make some bikers mad. So in advance I am going to say please don't take it personal, but I am going to attempt my most uncool motorcycle list.
Kawasaki KLR 650. It should not be a surprise to anyone that this bike tops my list. It is just plain ugly and it seems the newer the bike the uglier it gets. Get rid of the plastic and decals and then we will talk. All is not lost here though, put some rugged hard cases on this sucker along with a set of knobs, now knock the bike over a couple times, add a dash of caked-on mud, and viola you have a cool world traveler.
Suzuki Dr650. Ok it seems I am picking on the dual sports here but the Suzuki suffers from much of the same vanilla as the KLR albeit a little better looking. In stock form it just can't be taken too seriously, come on a 3.4 gallon tank. As with the KLR 650 add a few choice mods such as a larger fuel tank, luggage rack, aluminum side cases, and a set of knobs, and shazam a cool, go anywhere adventure bike.
Suzuki V-strom 650. Any bike referred to as the "Wee-strom" starts off; out of the gate, uncool. I remember when this bike was first introduced I thought it was one of the ugliest motorcycles ever made. I have to admit this bike has grown on me through the years. I have never ridden the little V-strom but there seems to be a consensus on the internet that the comfort and usability make up for the minor style deficiencies. Some might even say that function is sexy.
BMW F650 GS. Add a 21 inch front tire, spoked wheels, 14 more horse power, more suspension travel and what do you have? You have the very cool BMW F800 GS.
Honda Gold Wing. I am sorry the Gold Wing is a car on two wheels. When I think of a Gold Wing I immediately think, 'old guy bike'. I am not saying this is not a good bike, its just to much pampering to be cool. Maybe when I am 80 it will be cool to me.
Honda Fury. Honda making a chopper seems kind of weird. I am sure the Fury is a very refined bike but in my book they are about four years to late to the game. I think I read somewhere that choppers are not cool anymore. I never got into the "American Chopper" craze so to me they have never been all that cool.
I am sure there are more bikes out there that could make my uncool list but I think I have stepped on enough toes this time around.
